Fermilab----my newborn land

 

I had an honorable position in China before I came to Fermilab in 1990. I was the ALEPH Chinese group leader and the Deputy Director of the Beijing Spectrometer. The scientific and technology development in China can be divided into two distinct eras. The first 30 years were marked by milestones such as the detonation of China’s first atomic bomb, and the launch of the first artificial satellite. The second 30 years after reform were signified by the introduction of the internet age. I have the privilege of being one as the only Chinese to have played a defining role during both periods. Not only did I take part in both the first atomic bomb and the satellite project, but I also established a computer network and sent an email from Beijing to CERN on Aug. 25th, 1986, which is officially recognized as the first event in Chinese internet history. The 1989 Tiananmen Protest movement changed my life’s trajectory. Because I videotaped activities during the Tiananmen protest and witnessed the Chinese army shooting unarmed students on street, I was immediately in danger and forced myself to leave my beloved motherland behind. Eventually, I began an illustrious scientific career at Fermilab.

 

In 1979, I was selected by the Institute of High Energy Physics in China to be a T D Lee Scholar at CERN, and joined the CDHS experiment under the supervision of Prof. Jack Steinberger. However, I never got any chance to do data analysis for any of the experiments I participated: CDHS, ALEPH, and BES. The CMS experiment in which Fermilab plays an important role was the only one I was involved from the beginning to the end, and it was this experiment in which I had the highest satisfaction of participating in generating the greatest result with: the Discovery of the Higgs Boson. It is the highest point in my 50 year long career.

 

When I came to Fermilab, already at age 47, I had to start my new life from scratch and only had a one year contract. I lost all my property when I left from China, and expelled by the Institute. Helpful hands from Fermilab have always supported me along the way: I lived in Fermilab physicist Adam Para’s home for three months, and Prof. Bill Bardeen donated me a sofa bed, even delivering it to my home by himself. When China refused to renew my expired passport, making me a country-less person, Fermilab visa office helped me gain legal residency in the USA. Dan Green, helped me not only how to do my research, but also corrected my English for all scientific notes. This warm spirit encouraged me to work hard even more to contribute to my new home: Fermilab.

 

China started to have big changes in the positive direction after 1989. Delegates from the Chinese Academy came to Fermilab, apologized to me for unfair treatment and encouraged me to look forward. The directors of the Institute of High Energy Physics of China also told me, “IHEP will never forget your contribution to China, especially to BES and ALEPH collaboration”, and asked me to continue to promote the collaboration between Fermilab and IHEP. The Chinese consulate in Chicago also treats me as an honorable guest, and wishes me to contribute and enhance the friendship between the USA and China, two great countries.

 

My work deeply aligns with our founding Director Wilson’s famous quotation:

 

“It only has to do with the respect with which we regard one another, the dignity of men, our love of culture. It has to do with those things…..In that sense, this new knowledge has all to do with honor and country but it has nothing to do directly with defending our country except to help make it worth defending.”

 

Dr. Wilson did what he said. During his first visit to IHEP in 1980, Chinese worried very much about their capability to make accelerator magnets, thinking their machinery were not good enough. Then Dr. Wilson, together with workers from IHEP, using entirely factory equipment at IHEP, made a piece of bending magnet by himself, which was so impressive, giving IHEP a confidence: “you can do it”. Dr. Wilson, the founding director of Fermilab is a true hero in my heart forever.